I am a survivor of extremely severe ritualistic childhood abuse and sadistic systematic torture. This blog has helped me get my voice back and documents the journey I'm on to heal from the trauma and damage caused by that appalling abuse. Now is the time for me to tell of MY experience by speaking the truth about MY life. I will be silenced no more! On this blog I share MY life, MY healing journey; helpful quotes/stuff I come across and MY thoughts along the way. The more I speak out the more liberated I am from the shame and trauma of the abuse. My broken wings are gradually being repaired. Without God in my life I wouldn't still be here. But somehow, I keep on staying alive, surviving and rarely, occasionally, living a little!

Wednesday, 25 June 2008


Fi, my dear child, my precious child, I love you, I love you, love you

Believe it or not, I have always loved you, come listen, hear my heart

Before you, my child, were born I knew you, oh and how I loved you

As you were knitted together in the darkness of your mother’s womb

I saw you, I made you as you are, I know you as you are, you are beautiful

To me, I really like you as you are, I just love you as you are, don’t doubt

Please don’t doubt my words. Fi you don’t have to do anything you know

My love is strictly NOT, I repeat NOT, conditional, it is totally UNCONDITIONAL

Learn to accept and then to rest in the safety and security of my love for you

My love for you is not a fickle thing, it is so solid my precious daughter

It is real, deep, passionate, alive. I long for you my child to get to know me

You are so so precious to me, I am your perfect parent, you are safe with me

I am not like your human parents, I will never ever hurt you like they did

Or use you, or dump you, or let you down, you can rest secure in that truth

Fi, run into my arms, let me hold you, let me love you, oh please just let me

Go on let me embrace you, let me whisper in your ear words of love, security,

Affirmation, assurance, I seriously promise you I will never reject you

For you belong to me, you’ve always belonged to me, don’t be afraid

Your security is in the strength, reality the safety of my unconditional love

Which is yours always; stretching right into eternity itself, I really do mean this

I have called you Fiona, my fair one, by name; I know you Fiona by your name, fair one

I know you inside out, I love you, I accept you as you are, I just want you to be you

I have only good intentions for you, I have only good plans for you my precious child

Come to me, come, it’s okay, draw close, you’re safe, let me love and protect you

Come to me, stop running, sit down at my feet, relax, rest your head on my lap, it’s safe

Learn from me, trust me, let me in, let me speak to you, let me reassure you and love you

Let me clean and bind up those wounds, let me bring my healing touch to those wounds

Fiona, do not be afraid of me, I mean it when I say that you are safe, please believe it

Let me cuddle you, I desire an intimacy with you which is not violating and will heal

Do not fear that intimacy, it is a different intimacy that you experienced with your father

Don’t run away from it, for it is in that intimacy that you will find true deep healing

I mean only good things for you my child, only the best, I want only the very best for you

Fi, listen, I mean only the best for you, I really do have great plans for you, I do!

I have plans to heal you, not to harm you, I have plans which will give you hope and

Most of all, a future. I have plans which will cause your enemies to acknowledge

That my hand in on your life, that I am real, and that you do have value and a calling

Just come to me as you are, find rest in my presence, find out that intimacy can be okay

I know you think words are cheap, let me show you that I am always true to my word

Let me be the wind under your wings, let me be your reason for living, and I will give

To you a purpose for living, vision and passion, and most of all healing and wholeness

Fiona my precious child, my precious daughter, I love you, I love you, I love you

25th June 2008

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

Wow Fi!! You received this personal Love Letter from the Lord!!

How precious you are to Him!!

This is so beautiful!

Love an blessings to you,

Ree (SCalifBattleCry)