I am a survivor of extremely severe ritualistic childhood abuse and sadistic systematic torture. This blog has helped me get my voice back and documents the journey I'm on to heal from the trauma and damage caused by that appalling abuse. Now is the time for me to tell of MY experience by speaking the truth about MY life. I will be silenced no more! On this blog I share MY life, MY healing journey; helpful quotes/stuff I come across and MY thoughts along the way. The more I speak out the more liberated I am from the shame and trauma of the abuse. My broken wings are gradually being repaired. Without God in my life I wouldn't still be here. But somehow, I keep on staying alive, surviving and rarely, occasionally, living a little!

Tuesday, 24 June 2008


My friend I want to give you a little hope

Feel free to borrow mine if you like

It is possible to heal up, to move on, to start again

You won't hurt like this forever, I promise

My friend I want you to know a little truth

That it won't hurt like this for the rest of your life

I promise you, you can find hope, freedom, healing

It is possible, but not an easy road to travel along

My friend you don't have to stay a victim

You don't even have to stay as a survivor

You don't have to take your own life, there is a way

You will one day walk out into the sunlight

My friend I want you to know you are not alone

One day you will become strong in the broken places

You will start to live as you've never lived before

But the journey is hard, painful, lonely, but worth it

My friend I want you to know that others can show you

How it is possible to walk through the pain

That it is possible to come out the other side

That it is definitely possible to feel clean again

My friend lean on your friends, get some support

Don't be afraid to cry, shout, scream or ask hard questions

Please accept the hope that I am offering you

One day your life won't seem pointless or be full of pain

My friend the pain won't stay so raw forever

One day you will discover that you can laugh

That you can objectively discuss what happened

Without feeling overwhelmed or in a million pieces

My friend there will come a day sometime in the future

When you can actually get on with your life

Without your abuse filling every single thought and second

Without memories intruding on your present reality

My friend the darkness will not last forever

One day will come the most beautiful dawn

When you will be able to turn your hell into good

To help others make their journeys towards wholeness

My friend you will never be able to forget

Wholeness is a journey, not a destination

You'll have bad days and nights, good days and nights

But one day you will find that you can smile

My friend you are a beautiful, valuable person

None of it was ever your fault

Borrow my hope for as long as you need it

Then pass it on with your own to someone else

6th Dec 1999

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