I am a survivor of extremely severe ritualistic childhood abuse and sadistic systematic torture. This blog has helped me get my voice back and documents the journey I'm on to heal from the trauma and damage caused by that appalling abuse. Now is the time for me to tell of MY experience by speaking the truth about MY life. I will be silenced no more! On this blog I share MY life, MY healing journey; helpful quotes/stuff I come across and MY thoughts along the way. The more I speak out the more liberated I am from the shame and trauma of the abuse. My broken wings are gradually being repaired. Without God in my life I wouldn't still be here. But somehow, I keep on staying alive, surviving and rarely, occasionally, living a little!

Wednesday, 2 July 2008


You cannot carry this pain anymore; I am here so you can give it to me because I can carry it. Fi my child I love you, believe I love you.

I have been protecting you through it - when they have hit you they have hit me; when they beat you they beat me; when they cursed you they cursed me; when they spat on you they spat on me; when they laughed at you they laughed at me; when they threw you across the room they threw me across the room; when they dragged you by the hair they dragged me by the hair. Everything done to you I experienced.

I felt your pain, I feel your pain. My child, my child, my child, my child, my precious child. You are so precious, let me love you. Let me take all this from you, there is nothing I don't know about. I know your fear and your uncertainty. I know your insecurity. I understand it all and I want to heal you of it all. But you need to trust me and allow me in little by little.

I know this is hard for you. I know what you can bear. I know what you can cope with, and I am going to take you step by step, little by little. We have all the time in the world. I am not in a hurry because I want to do a thorough job. I am reaching out to you can you trust me enough to take my hand?

30th June 2008


Anonymous said...

Lord, thank You for the strength and grace to run the race of life in YOU!! The precious "key" is that we are running it "in" You, safely "in" You! Let us just cling to You O lovely Lord, as we run!! I'm clinging to You . . . .
I love clinging to You!! Holding tight, clinging to You!

Blessings of Love to you Fi,

Ree (SCalifBattleCry)


Help me to take your hand Jesus, remembering that you won't ever let me go, regardless of how much my grip may give out!!