I am a survivor of extremely severe ritualistic childhood abuse and sadistic systematic torture. This blog has helped me get my voice back and documents the journey I'm on to heal from the trauma and damage caused by that appalling abuse. Now is the time for me to tell of MY experience by speaking the truth about MY life. I will be silenced no more! On this blog I share MY life, MY healing journey; helpful quotes/stuff I come across and MY thoughts along the way. The more I speak out the more liberated I am from the shame and trauma of the abuse. My broken wings are gradually being repaired. Without God in my life I wouldn't still be here. But somehow, I keep on staying alive, surviving and rarely, occasionally, living a little!

Sunday, 6 July 2008


No no no Fi I have not brought you this far to drop you. You are not going to fall back, keep moving forward, don’t be afraid I have not left you. Over the coming months I am going to further accelerate your healing. I know where you have been, I know what you’re going through and you are doing so well, you really are. You are the apple of my eye, I delight in you.

You’ve not been able to have relationships or have friends up till now. But I am changing all that and bringing people into your life who will be friends, true friends, yes Fi, they will be true friends. Let me bring them into your life and trust them, let them be the friends I intend them to be to you. For it is my work that they are coming into your life, don’t shrink back from them.

Fi when you mess up don’t hide and please don’t beat yourself up. I am here, just come to me and talk to me about it instead of shutting down and running away. It is safe for you to come to me.

I am changing you, transforming you, making you new, but don’t be afraid. I am not going to change you so much that you do not recognise yourself, I know it may feel that way at the moment. You will still recognise yourself, you will still be essentially you, your character, who you are, but I am making you a reflection of ME. You will be such a reflection of MY light and MY love, but you will still be you. But remember, it is my work, not yours!!!

I love you, I do I love you, I know you don’t believe me, but I love you. I love you Fi I really enjoy being with you. I love you, yes I do, I love you.

6th July 2008


Anonymous said...

Yes Lord, thank You for friends, true friends, godly friends. Thank You for Fi Lord . . . as she has made this a safe place for us all to visit and come to know each other better. How wonderful You are Lord.

We "live only to see Your face Lord, so shine on us Lord! Be gracious with the light of Your countenance and give us peace" (as the Misty Edwards song says).

Lord, as your word says, we "present our bodies a living sacrifice, holy, acceptable, to God, which is our reasonable service. And we will not be conformed to this world, but be TRANSFORMED by the renewing of our minds, that we may prove what is that good and acceptable and perfect will of God!!" Romans 12:1,2

Keep pressing on Fi! His light and love are shining through you . . . most uniquely, as only can be done through you and no else!! Thank you for this website.

Ree (SCalifBattleCry)


Thank you Jesus for creating this safe place for us all!!! And thank you for my precious sister Ree!