I am a survivor of extremely severe ritualistic childhood abuse and sadistic systematic torture. Without God's intervention in my life I wouldn't be here - NOW is the time for me to tell MY story by speaking the TRUTH about MY life. I will be silenced no more! On this blog I share MY life, MY healing journey; helpful quotes/stuff I come across and MY thoughts along the way. The more I speak out the more liberated I am from the shame and trauma of the abuse. My broken wings are gradually being restored. This blog has helped me begin to get my voice back and documents the journey God is taking me on to heal me from the trauma and damage caused by that most appalling abuse.

Friday, 30 January 2009

An Excerpt from "EYES WIDE OPEN - I Physically Felt His Big Arms Wrap Around Me - ALL BECAUSE OF JOY" by Julie A. Smith Jan 29, 2009

“A couple of months ago, I went through a hard-core inner healing course at my church called "Life Change." This is not a course to be taken lightly; this is a serious inner healing course for those wanting to be free of life's past traumas and disappointments . . . . I knew this was not going to be easy to go through—some people walk out of this class because it can be hard to face those past traumas head on.

The night before, I started having second thoughts about this class, thinking how hard it would be. But the Lord spoke to me and said, "You've already walked through the hard part" (referring to the disappointment). And He went on to say, "You won't want to walk out because you're walking in." Then He said, "I just want to give you My joy." I didn't know the fullness of what this meant yet but knew I was going to find out.

One of the very first lessons taught in this class is: pain is not your enemy; it's what you do with it that can be. Life will come with pain and disappointment but harboring it and not letting go of it can cause issues of its own. That's when bitterness and unforgiveness set in and some may cope with their pain by tangible means, like forming habits of overeating, drinking, erratic spending, and much more.

I'll never forget the second night of this class—it was my breakthrough night. There is one-on-one time with just you and God, and He meets each and every person there intimately, personally, and passionately. I had a choice to go before the Lord and decide if I was going to give Him all my disappointment. He spoke intimately to me of how He never intended for me to live this way . . .

The next and last evening of my inner healing class, we were in a session of prayer and worship, and again we were in a very intimate setting with the Lord. During worship, my spiritual eyes were opened into a heavenly place I have never seen before. As I was standing in this room, I saw a shadow hovering over me from behind, and I knew it was the Lord overshadowing me. Then I physically felt His big arms wrap around me from behind. He embraced me tightly. That's when my eyes opened wide!

I saw many, many angels crowding the room we were in. It was so crowded with angels that I felt them running into me—they were brushing against my shoulders as they passed by in the room. At this point I can't believe what I am seeing! Heaven came down in great joy before me. In the room, angels were dancing and twirling, singing, playing slapjack with each other, laughing, and talking about us—the people in the inner healing class. They were saying to each other, "Wow, do you see her? She just got set free! Hey, look at her; she just got set free too!"

The freer we became, the more the angels danced and played with each other. It was as if their joy was contingent on us being free! I was so overwhelmed with what I was seeing; I was speechless. I think this is what it means to have "unspeakable joy." Psalm 16:11 says, "In Your presence is fullness of joy"—that Scripture came alive to me in the joy room. In His presence was the fullness of joy as the Lord's arms were wrapped around me . . . .

That night I walked into my joy—the joy the Lord wanted to give me. There was no disappointment in this room; it certainly couldn't survive the joy surrounding the atmosphere. Disappointment didn't stand a chance!

Being in this joy room reminded me of being on a playground surrounded by children playing. The angels in the joy room were playing just like children do. The spirit of joy children have was always meant to be kept alive in all of us—big and small; God never intended for us to give it up as adults! I walked away from my joy weekend filled with a peace I hadn't had in a long time. I was free of the disappointment that had held me captive.

The word I hear for this year is "JOY!" God wants to give us His unspeakable joy this year. His joy is not of this world but only comes from Him, the Giver of joy. The joy He gives will never fail you, in fact, it will set you free. Ask God to give you His joy. Trade in your past disappointment for the joy of Heaven. Ask God to bring down the joy room of Heaven for you to live in. And I highly recommend hanging out with children and playing with them; within them is the same God-given joy in Heaven!

The joy room of Heaven came down while I was in church in an inner healing class. I also believe this was a prophetic picture for the Church. God is going to fill His Church with heavenly joy, and the world will be coming to experience it! No stronghold stands a chance because in His presence is the fullness of joy!

As I shared earlier, we all deal with disappointment, but it's what we do with it that is so important to Him. It's time to be transparent with our disappointments and take them to the Lord. Give your disappointment to Him; don't let it harbor inside you for one more minute of time—that's one more minute of disappointment robbing you from the Joy of the Lord.”


Julie A. Smith, Editor ElijahList and ElijahRain Magazine

www.elijahlist.com Email: info@elijahlist.net

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