I am a survivor of extremely severe ritualistic childhood abuse and sadistic systematic torture. This blog has helped me get my voice back and documents the journey I'm on to heal from the trauma and damage caused by that appalling abuse. Now is the time for me to tell of MY experience by speaking the truth about MY life. I will be silenced no more! On this blog I share MY life, MY healing journey; helpful quotes/stuff I come across and MY thoughts along the way. The more I speak out the more liberated I am from the shame and trauma of the abuse. My broken wings are gradually being repaired. Without God in my life I wouldn't still be here. But somehow, I keep on staying alive, surviving and rarely, occasionally, living a little!

Tuesday, 10 March 2009


After living what I felt was a “decent” life. My time on earth came to the end.

The first thing I remember is sitting on a bench in the waiting room of what I thought to be a court house. The doors opened and I was instructed to come in and have a seat by the defense table.

I looked around and I saw the “prosecutor”. He was a villainous looking gent who snarled as he stared at me. He definitely was the most evil person I have ever seen. I sat down and looked to my left and there sat my attorney, kind and gentle looking man whose appearance seemed so familiar to me, I felt I knew HIM.

The corner door flew open and there appeared the Judge in full flowing robes. He commanded an awesome presence as He moved across the room I couldn’t take my eyes off of Him.

As He took His seat behind the bench, He said, “Let us begin.”

The prosecutor rose and said --------- “My name is Satan and I am here to show you why this man belongs in hell.” He proceeded to tell of lies that I told, things that I stole, and in the past when I cheated others. Satan told of other horrible perversions that were once in my life and the more he spoke, the further down in my seat I sank. I was so embarrassed that I couldn’t look at anyone, even my own attorney, as the Devil told of sins that even I had completely forgotten about.

As upset as I was at Satan for telling all these things about me, I was equally upset at My attorney who sat there silently not offering any form of defense at all. I know I had been guilty of those things, but I had done some good in my life – couldn’t that at least equal out part of the harm I’d done?

Satan finished with a fury and said “this man belongs in hell, he is guilty of all that I have charged and there is not a person who can prove otherwise.”

When it was His turn, My attorney first asked if He might approach the bench. The Judge allowed this over the strong objection of Satan, and beckoned Him to come forward. And He got up and started walking, I was able to see Him in His full splendor and majesty. I realized why he seemed so familiar; this was my Jesus representing me, my Lord and my Savior.

He stopped at the bench and softly said: “Satan does not understand yet. This man is not to be given justice, but rather mercy.”

As Jesus sat down, He quietly paused, looked at His father and said, “There is nothing else that needs to be done.”------- “I’VE DONE IT ALL.”

THE judge lifted His mighty hand and slammed the gavel down. The following words bellowed from His lips. “This man is free. The penalty for him has already been paid in full. CASE DISMISSED.”

As my Lord led me away, I could hear Satan ranting and raving, “I won’t give up, I will win the next one.”

I asked Jesus as He gave me my instructions where to go next, “Have you ever lost a case?”

Jesus lovingly smiled and said, “Everyone that has come to Me and asked Me to represent them has received the same verdict as you “PAID IN FULL”

Stop telling God how big your storm is. Instead, tell the storm how big God is!

(This article was sent to me by a friend and reproduced with kind permission)


I don't know about you but I know for me that I have to put up with an almost constant natter natter natter from satan accusing me and reminding me of things I'd rather forget or had long forgotten. Quite often I find myself bogged down and having to admit that actually satan has got it right (to a degree anyway).

BUT GOD . . . .

Scripture tells me that Jesus is forever standing before the Father interceding for me, speaking on my behalf, laying the case for me before Him because of my relationship with Him.

So whose opinion is the one that really matters? Well it certainly isn't the accuser's now. So I am heartened and enormously encouraged to be reminded that Jesus has done it all for me. He said "it is finished" as He died. The work was complete at the cross and my accuser defeated.

And I am reminded of a song that says "your cross has spoken mercy over me".

The wonderful thing is that the cross of Jesus for all eternity speaks "mercy" over me because of my faith and trust in Jesus and most of all because of His precious blood which pours from calvary over my life covering a multitude. Thank you Jesus!!!!

No comments: