I am a survivor of extremely severe ritualistic childhood abuse and sadistic systematic torture. This blog has helped me get my voice back and documents the journey I'm on to heal from the trauma and damage caused by that appalling abuse. Now is the time for me to tell of MY experience by speaking the truth about MY life. I will be silenced no more! On this blog I share MY life, MY healing journey; helpful quotes/stuff I come across and MY thoughts along the way. The more I speak out the more liberated I am from the shame and trauma of the abuse. My broken wings are gradually being repaired. Without God in my life I wouldn't still be here. But somehow, I keep on staying alive, surviving and rarely, occasionally, living a little!

Friday, 25 September 2009


The last few days I’ve been walking through what has been like a very dark cloud full of pain and tears. The pain too deep to even know what it was about or what part of me was hurting. The tears were like someone had turned a tap on and the washer had got stuck and the tap couldn’t be turned off. No matter how hard I tried to stop crying the tears just poured all the more

It was very hard to sense Jesus in that dark cloud. All I could do was to hold on to His words to me that He would never ever leave me or forsake me, both in scripture and personally spoken to me

Then this afternoon Jesus tenderly spoke four words to me – ‘I AM WITH YOU’

Those four words transformed my day and light came into the darkness as assurance flooded in

I love the tenderness of Jesus. His tenderness reaches down into the deepest parts of me. So often I sit with Him and begin to cry just because of His sheer tenderness and understanding

He spoke those four words with such unmistakable tenderness, understanding and reassurance but also with incredible authority too. It is hard to describe, it really is, so much was wrapped up in those four words. But His tender compassion reached out to me today and broke through the pain

I believe that Jesus wants to speak those words to you as you are sitting reading this

Do you feel all alone in your hurt? If you do, listen for His tender voice and let His tender love, understanding and compassion reach in and say ‘I AM WITH YOU’

24 Sep 2009

1 comment:

Ordinary Guy said...

Such powerful words. - He is with us.- Often times, I too have heard Him speak the same words.

A passage of scripture that also brings me peace are the words of Jesus, "I have called you friends.."

His peace is beyond our understanding. -Thank you for your post.