I am a survivor of extremely severe ritualistic childhood abuse and sadistic systematic torture. This blog has helped me get my voice back and documents the journey I'm on to heal from the trauma and damage caused by that appalling abuse. Now is the time for me to tell of MY experience by speaking the truth about MY life. I will be silenced no more! On this blog I share MY life, MY healing journey; helpful quotes/stuff I come across and MY thoughts along the way. The more I speak out the more liberated I am from the shame and trauma of the abuse. My broken wings are gradually being repaired. Without God in my life I wouldn't still be here. But somehow, I keep on staying alive, surviving and rarely, occasionally, living a little!

Friday, 27 November 2009


He is a gentleman
He is confident
He is trustworthy
He is a provider and protector
He is rich and powerful

He is consistent–the same yesterday, today & tomorrow
He owns everything, there’s nothing He wouldn't do for me
He perfects all things concerning me
He anticipates my wants and needs

Every day He tells me & shows me how much He loves me
I don't have to perform in order to earn His love
He keeps all of his promises
He never lies

No one can influence His opinion of me
He is the ultimate intimate partner
He can't "disown" me because I am a part of Him
He prepares a table before Me (Selah)
He covers me and doesn't expose me
He wrote his loving words down in His Word so that I'll never forget how He feels about me!

What more can you really ask for?


Wake up every day and thank FATHER GOD, JESUS CHRIST & HOLY SPIRIT for being the best "man" in your life!

Saturday, 7 November 2009


I came across this short meditation on Psalm 139:14. It really spoke to me and I thought I’d share it.

Psalm 139: 14 - “I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made”

We can only imagine the concentrated thoughts that occupied the divine Mind and the gentle, skilful touch of the divine Hand that first shaped man from the dust.

Where did the Creator begin?

Did He start with a skeletal frame? Did He then cover it with an outside layer of skin, which at no place is thicker than three-sixteenths of an inch, is packed with nerve endings to enable man to feel the outside world, and is virtually waterproof.

Into the skin stretched over the frame did He next place the heart that pumps seventy-two times a minute, forty million times a year?

When did He hang the lungs in their sealed compartments so that the rivers of blood necessary for life can deposit the carbon dioxide and pick up oxygen to be carried to every single one of the more than twenty-six trillion cells in the body?

When did He place the brain inside the bony skull and program it to send messages that travel faster than three hundred miles an hour along the nervous system to the entire body?

Truly, we are fearfully and wonderfully and lovingly and personally created by an awe-inspiring, loving Creator!!


Dr Martyn Lloyd-Jones writes:- “It is the spirit and the word, the spirit upon the word, and the spirit in us as we read the word.

You say it’s impossible, God says “what is impossible with men is possible with God” Luke 18:27

You say I’m exhausted, God says “Those who wait on the Lord shall renew their strength” Isaiah 40: 31

You say nobody loves me, He says “I have loved you with an everlasting love” Jeremiah 31: 3

You say I can’t go on, He says “My grace is sufficient for you” 2 Corinthians 12:9

You say I don’t know what to do, He says “He shall direct your paths” Proverbs 3:6

You say I can’t do it, He says “I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me” Philippians 4: 13

You say it’s not worth it, He says “we will reap a harvest if we do not give up” Galatians 6:9

You say I can’t forgive myself, He says “in Christ God forgave you” Ephesians 4:32

You say I can’t make ends meet, He says “God shall supply your every need” Philippians 4:19

You say I’m afraid, He says “God has not given us a spirit of fear, but of power” 2 Timothy 1:7

You say I can’t handle this, He says “Cast your cares on the Lord and He will sustain you” Psalm 55:22

You say I’m not smart enough, He says “if you need wisdom, ask God for it” James 1:5

You say I’m all alone, He says “I will never leave you or forsake you” Hebrews 13: 5

Reproduced from UCB “Word for Today” Fri 6 Nov 2009