I am a survivor of extremely severe ritualistic childhood abuse and sadistic systematic torture. This blog has helped me get my voice back and documents the journey I'm on to heal from the trauma and damage caused by that appalling abuse. Now is the time for me to tell of MY experience by speaking the truth about MY life. I will be silenced no more! On this blog I share MY life, MY healing journey; helpful quotes/stuff I come across and MY thoughts along the way. The more I speak out the more liberated I am from the shame and trauma of the abuse. My broken wings are gradually being repaired. Without God in my life I wouldn't still be here. But somehow, I keep on staying alive, surviving and rarely, occasionally, living a little!

Wednesday, 16 December 2009


I know I need YOU
I need to love YOU
I love to see YOU, but it's been so long
I long to feel YOU
I feel this need for YOU
And I need to hear YOU, is that so wrong?

Now You pull me near YOU
When we're close, I fear YOU
Still I'm afraid to tell YOU, all that I've done
Are YOU done forgiving?
Oh can YOU look past my pretending?
Lord, I'm so tired of defending, what I've become
What have I become?

I hear YOU say
"MY love is over. It's underneath
It's inside. It's in between
The times you doubt ME, when you can't feel
The times that you question, 'Is this for real?'
The times you're broken
The times that you mend
The times that you hate ME, and the times that you bend
Well, MY love is over, it's underneath
It's inside, it's in between
These times you're healing, and when your heart breaks
The times that you feel like you're falling from grace
The times you're hurting
The times that you heal
The times you go hungry, and are tempted to steal
The times of confusion, in chaos and pain
I'm there in your sorrow, under the weight of your shame
I'm there through your heartache.
I'm there in the storm
MY love I will keep you, by MY power alone
I don't care where you fall, where you have been
I'll never forsake you, MY love never ends
It never ends"

Tenth Avenue North

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