I am a survivor of extremely severe ritualistic childhood abuse and sadistic systematic torture. This blog has helped me get my voice back and documents the journey I'm on to heal from the trauma and damage caused by that appalling abuse. Now is the time for me to tell of MY experience by speaking the truth about MY life. I will be silenced no more! On this blog I share MY life, MY healing journey; helpful quotes/stuff I come across and MY thoughts along the way. The more I speak out the more liberated I am from the shame and trauma of the abuse. My broken wings are gradually being repaired. Without God in my life I wouldn't still be here. But somehow, I keep on staying alive, surviving and rarely, occasionally, living a little!

Friday, 12 March 2010

A Love Letter From God

I know you, know the real you. I know you more intimately than any other, more than you know yourself. I was there when you were born, watched you grow into who you are today. I've been there your entire life! I watch over you, protect you, keep you safe and sound. I care about you, provide for you, do stuff just for you and send you gifts. I feed you, clothe you, take care of you and supply all your needs. I never have, nor ever will stop doing this for you!

I'm here for you when you think you're alone, when you need someone to talk to or a shoulder to cry on. I'm here to carry you when you feel life is too hard or you can't go on! I know what you're going through, know what it's like, how it feels. I've been there before! It tears me apart to see you in pain. For every tear you shed, four fall from my eyes.

I laugh when you laugh - laugh at all you jokes, even the stupid ones! I feel your happiness, love to see you smile - it makes me smile! You're my pride and joy! Nothing makes me happier then spending time with you!! I'm your biggest fan and your best friend! I share the good times with you, just as I'm there for you in the bad. I'm proud of your accomplishments, proud of the things you do right! I keep track of them and make sure you're rewarded for them!

I don't think less of you or look down on you when you mess up or because you're different. I'll never pick on you or make fun of you! I always see the good in you, always see your full potential. I see who you'll become, who you'll be in a year, two years, five, ten, 20,35, 50, or even 80 years from now. I only want what's best for you! I always have your best interests in mind! I've always been and always will be completely honest with you!!

I love you regardless of who you are or what you've done. There's nothing you can do to change that - nothing you can do to make me stop loving you or love you less, no matter how hard you try! I guarantee you'll never in a million years find anyone who loves you as much or more than me. I'm so sure in fact, that I've bet everything, even my own life on it!

I left everything behind, left paradise, left the coolest, most beautiful place in the universe to be with you! I left my throne, my kingdom, became poor, homeless, a traveller, human, flesh and blood. It wasn't JUST to prove my existence, keep my promises, and humble myself to become an example through my actions. It wasn't JUST to teach you in person, restore your life, and show you the way home where we can be together again. I did it to prove that I know and understand what it's like to be in your shoes. To prove I know what you're going through from personal experience!

I have come to tell you in person just how much I love you. I came to show you through my deeds my love for you is more than words! I came to demonstrate that my love for you is every bit as real as the air that you breathe and feel, but never see. My love for you is as real as your heart, brain, and desires - you've never seen them with your own eyes, but you know they're there because they've been proven to exist and you can feel them at work.

I was humiliated, spit on, falsely accused, bruised, and beaten black and blue to prove my love for you! I was ridiculed, mocked, made fun of, embarrassed, rejected, and outcast by my own people to show you how much I love you! Just in case that wasn't enough, I bled and died an unimaginably painful death to prove beyond any doubt that I love you more than anything, even my own life! Then, after all this, I came back to life so that you can see my love for you will never die and can never be killed!

I must confess that I had a selfish motive for all this: I did it because I want to be with you! I want to be a personal, real, loving friend to you! I want to walk, talk, eat, breath, and dream with you. I want to spend time with you. I want your friendship, companionship, your time, your attention, and devotion! I want everything you are - good and bad, faults and all! I WANT YOU! I want to bridge the gap between us. I want to make my home in you. After all, this is the reason that I created you, the reason I died for you. I was thinking about you before I made you. You were on my mind when I breathed my last breath! I could have done anything imaginable, but instead, I chose to make you to keep me company!

You DON'T have to earn my love - it's unconditional. No requirements, no qualifiers, no disqualifiers and NO fine print, PERIOD! All I ask in return is that you spend time with me and do your best to follow in my foot prints.


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