“Abusers are not easy to spot. There is no 'typical' abuser. In public, they may appear friendly and loving to their partner and family. They often only abuse behind closed doors. They also try to hide the abuse by causing injuries that can be hidden and do not need a doctor. Abuse is never a one time event.”
I lived with the reality of that quote.
My abusers were very good at hitting me in places that could not be seen by other people, causing injuries that could be easily hidden. They abused mainly behind closed doors and were frighteningly very clever, calculating and deliberate in what they did and how they did it. It was such a horrendous atmosphere of constant terror that I lived with. In public my abusers could be very charming and plausible but I knew how cruel they were behind closed doors. They had a veneer of respectability being church goers and doing loads of charity work in the community. To the outside world it was an act of being a happy, smiley family. But behind closed doors the real truth was very different.
I hated that and so wanted people to see past all that superficiality and recognise something was wrong, but no one did. I did try to tell folks at church that I wasn’t happy at home, but was told to stop speaking badly about my parents and to respect them as they were upstanding members of the church.
I felt trapped and alone and hated living the lie of pretending everything was ok when everything was just horrific.