I am a survivor of extremely severe ritualistic childhood abuse and sadistic systematic torture. This blog has helped me get my voice back and documents the journey I'm on to heal from the trauma and damage caused by that appalling abuse. Now is the time for me to tell of MY experience by speaking the truth about MY life. I will be silenced no more! On this blog I share MY life, MY healing journey; helpful quotes/stuff I come across and MY thoughts along the way. The more I speak out the more liberated I am from the shame and trauma of the abuse. My broken wings are gradually being repaired. Without God in my life I wouldn't still be here. But somehow, I keep on staying alive, surviving and rarely, occasionally, living a little!

Wednesday, 16 June 2010


Limbo - how can I describe it to you?
It’s a place that I really don’t like
It’s a very uncertain place too
It makes me squirm deep inside
And it makes me want out, big time
I hate the loss of control that it creates
Although I never had no control before
It all just creates a very helpless feeling
Like someone’s snatched something from me
Snatched control from out of my hands
The not knowing when it’ll come to an end
Is a really bad feeling I’m struggling to find words for
I just want to get on to the next phase
Outta this horrible place called ‘limbo’
The waiting for something to happen to move things on
And not being able to do anything to influence it
Is really horrible, I feel strangely disempowered
It feels like a very lonely, empty, pointless, helpless place
A place created by someone else’s design and decision
I know it would be so much easier if I stopped stressing
And managed to find a way to accept that I’m here in ‘limbo’
And can’t do nothing about it to speed things up
But I can’t cos everything within me is straining
Screaming out for relief, for something to happen PLEASE
Or at least to know how long it’s gonna last
To get back at least some semblance of control
And ease the feeling of being lost in this place called ‘limbo’
Lost and forgotten, kind of pushed to one side
Cos that’s how it feels and it’s a scary insecure feeling
That makes everything wobble around me like crazy
I just want it to end, I just want out of this place called ‘limbo’


1 comment:

Eve said...

I can totally relate to this poem. It is very well written.
Limbo is a yucky place to live. But we have a hope. And we will just have to keeptelling ourselves that everytime we are ready to give up.