I am a survivor of extremely severe ritualistic childhood abuse and sadistic systematic torture. This blog has helped me get my voice back and documents the journey I'm on to heal from the trauma and damage caused by that appalling abuse. Now is the time for me to tell of MY experience by speaking the truth about MY life. I will be silenced no more! On this blog I share MY life, MY healing journey; helpful quotes/stuff I come across and MY thoughts along the way. The more I speak out the more liberated I am from the shame and trauma of the abuse. My broken wings are gradually being repaired. Without God in my life I wouldn't still be here. But somehow, I keep on staying alive, surviving and rarely, occasionally, living a little!

Tuesday, 27 July 2010


During the last couple of weeks I’ve been walking through possibly the hardest days of my healing journey so far. All I’ve been able to do has been to cry out to my Safe Daddy and my big bruvver Jesus, knowing that they were closer to me than I will ever realise and were carrying me through this almost unbearable time. Yesterday I came across the following passage in a bible study and was just so encouraged by it and reminded that Safe Daddy knows every single tiny detail of what’s going on. Just at the point when I felt I couldn’t take another step HE jumped in and picked me up, gave me a big hug and refocused me, and all with HIS enormous compassion that always encourages and restores hope.

Your heart is hurting. Fear is creeping toward you trying to confront you full face. Do not let that happen. Stop it in its tracks in MY Name. Trust ME with your whole heart. Bring to mind when I’ve brought good things in the past when you saw no way for them to happen. I will bring the full weight of MY glory to the situation. I always do the best. I always cause all things working together for good. I am God and there is no other. You are MY child and I will never leave or forsake you and yours.
Up until now you haven't seen yourself as being very strong, but that is changing. I’ve never seen you the way you have seen yourself because I’ve seen your heart. Now you are beginning to see yourself as I see you. I’ve seen you relying on ME through hard times and that pleases me. You have been thinking harder times are coming. No, not at all, good times are ahead. Ready yourself for what is coming. Anticipate what I am bringing. Allow your mind to be filled with MY blessings and goodness. You become stronger believing in MY goodness.
There are thoughts rumbling around in your head that are not good for you or anyone else. The only thing that will work is forgiveness. Yes, I know you’ve done it but do it again, make your choice to forgive again. Ask ME for cleansing. MY blood was shed for you and you do not have to carry it around in your mind. It is detrimental to your health and well being. Dump the load that was dumped on you. Forgive again. Stay free precious one. Forgive again and again each time you think of what happened or any of the surrounding circumstances. Your forgiveness does not in any way excuse the one who hurt you. Keep on forgiving and you will be free. That is what 70 x 7 means in Scripture...keep on forgiving. Don't choose the way of bitterness or unforgiveness. Choose MY way of faith, hope and love. MY way is the way of peace and joy.
Confusion has come and has affected your peace of mind. Rely not on your own thinking or wisdom. Precious one, don't worry. I know circumstances are difficult, you will make it through. Even though you don't see a way now there is a way. I have the way, you will weather it. Keeping a positive mindset will help keep you stable. MY Spirit keeps your positive mindset stable, if you focus on ME. MY Spirit communes with your spirit and peace results in your centre.
Relax and be at peace. I am with you. I know it is hard to keep your mind trusting. Keep your mind focused on MY love, care and peace. Tell ME your deepest thoughts and fears. Believe in ME and MY goodness. Thank ME for delivering you in times past. Those are the things you need to focus on, that is the kind of thinking that will get you through. You are hidden in ME and I live within you. Settle down here beside ME. Everything is alright, you are here with ME and I am with you.

Isaiah 26:3-4 (Amplified Bible)
YOU will guard him and keep him in perfect and constant peace whose mind [both its inclination and its character] is stayed on YOU, because he commits himself to YOU, leans on YOU, and hopes confidently in YOU. So trust in the Lord (commit yourself to HIM, lean on HIM, hope confidently in HIM) forever; for the Lord God is an everlasting rock


Jennifer Vance said...

it worked!ya

Jennifer Vance said...

Oh!This is so perfect for me right now,I cried.I'm going to have to share this on my blog.I hope this comment works,cause I've been trying to comment fro a like a fee months and it hasn't worked yet.Grr


Oh I am so happy it helped you so much, welcome to my blog, so glad the sharing birt worked too, bless you