My abusers’ rules were all about control, manipulation and abuse; designed to keep me quiet and to keep their behaviour secret. In so doing my abusers virtually destroyed me and reduced me to merely existing.
Their code, their rules are no longer relevant to my life. Nothing bad is going to happen if I reject their code, their rules now. Their code, their rules were bad ones.
I do not have to live by their rules anymore. I do not want to live by their rules anymore either.
It is possible for me to live by new rules. I can create my own code, my own rules. I am allowed to now.
My code, my rules are about learning to live, not just exist.
My code, my rules are going to be about beginning to be me – who I really am – not who they said I was and not who they made me to be.
They are about finding freedom rather than being tied up in knots; about living; about being more healthy and about being safe.
Ultimately, establishing my own code, my rules, is about finding my own voice and using it, for too long it’s been silenced, but no more. I am finding my voice now and by golly am I gonna use it!!
I am a survivor of extremely severe ritualistic childhood abuse and sadistic systematic torture. This blog has helped me get my voice back and documents the journey I'm on to heal from the trauma and damage caused by that appalling abuse. Now is the time for me to tell of MY experience by speaking the truth about MY life. I will be silenced no more! On this blog I share MY life, MY healing journey; helpful quotes/stuff I come across and MY thoughts along the way. The more I speak out the more liberated I am from the shame and trauma of the abuse. My broken wings are gradually being repaired. Without God in my life I wouldn't still be here. But somehow, I keep on staying alive, surviving and rarely, occasionally, living a little!