I am a survivor of extremely severe ritualistic childhood abuse and sadistic systematic torture. This blog has helped me get my voice back and documents the journey I'm on to heal from the trauma and damage caused by that appalling abuse. Now is the time for me to tell of MY experience by speaking the truth about MY life. I will be silenced no more! On this blog I share MY life, MY healing journey; helpful quotes/stuff I come across and MY thoughts along the way. The more I speak out the more liberated I am from the shame and trauma of the abuse. My broken wings are gradually being repaired. Without God in my life I wouldn't still be here. But somehow, I keep on staying alive, surviving and rarely, occasionally, living a little!

Thursday, 23 September 2010

NIGHT TERRORS - Written by Penny Smith

I wake from dreaming of his laughing, sneering face, the demons who haunt me are still giving chase

I try to shake it off - to leave them in my dreams but they follow me into my day and always will, it seems

Somehow I have to go about the duties of everyday life, there are things I have to do - I am a mother and a wife

I must put on a happy face, while memories at me claw, my children need not know the pain, that at my soul doth gnaw

It's the hardest thing I have to do, this hiding of how I feel, smile, despite my wounds and somehow, learn to deal

Some days are good, while others exhaust me to my very core; night again, and I haven't the strength to fight the demons anymore

Then he's back in my dreams -sneering, lying, hurting me, sleep holds no reprieve - there is nowhere for me to flee

I wake again exhausted, cold sweat upon my brow, remnants of terror slowly fading - I must carry on somehow

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