I am a survivor of extremely severe ritualistic childhood abuse and sadistic systematic torture. This blog has helped me get my voice back and documents the journey I'm on to heal from the trauma and damage caused by that appalling abuse. Now is the time for me to tell of MY experience by speaking the truth about MY life. I will be silenced no more! On this blog I share MY life, MY healing journey; helpful quotes/stuff I come across and MY thoughts along the way. The more I speak out the more liberated I am from the shame and trauma of the abuse. My broken wings are gradually being repaired. Without God in my life I wouldn't still be here. But somehow, I keep on staying alive, surviving and rarely, occasionally, living a little!

Tuesday, 7 June 2011


The past week has been the longest and most wearing week I’ve lived through for a long time!!!

A week ago I took a gentle flat walk to the seafront. I had twinges of pain in my left foot. I’m used to having twinges in my left foot, it’s been twinging on and off for several months now. I sat down to rest and enjoy the view. When I got up to walk I felt excruciating pain shoot through my foot and I painfully hobbled home. I thought it would just clear up as any pain I’ve had in my foot has usually just gone away as suddenly as it happened. I’ve never experienced anything like it. To go from being able to walk quite happily to being in agonising pain for no obvious reason was really bizarre.

This time the pain didn’t go away. The next day I could barely put any weight on my foot and I ended up in my local A + E department. I’ve never known pain like it. That led to a diagnosis of Plantar Fasciitis. 

Plantar Fasciitis is inflammation of the Plantar Fascia which runs from the heel bone to the toes. It is inflamed at the point where it connects with the heel bone and other places in my foot. 

For the past 5-days I’ve been confined to my flat as my foot needed immediate rest. That was a total drag as I had to cancel going in to both my voluntary jobs. It was really hard and disorientating having my life totally turned upside down. 

I was reminded of the first few months after my M.E. was diagnosed and how I had hardly any energy to walk anywhere for 9 months. I was also reminded of how good it felt when I regained a measure of strength and energy which enabled me to be able to walk again, although with a stick for a long time. I realised how much I now take being able to walk for granted.

Hobbling around my flat I found the constant pain to be totally wearing. The painkillers I use for pain weren’t touching the pain in my foot. The only relief was from cooling gel and a bottle of frozen water that I roll gently under my foot when the pain gets too much.

Today I hobbled out to see the Doctor for more painkillers and anti-inflammatory gel which really calms the foot down. I’ve bought some cushioned gel insoles for my walking boots to make walking more comfortable. The Doctor’s examination led to the diagnosis being expanded to Achilles Tendonitis as well. My left Achilles tendon is tender and tight. So it’s no wonder I’ve been in so much pain and hobbling so badly!!

I may need physiotherapy. But for now it’s minimal walking, lots of resting the foot, doing gentle stretching exercises, icing the foot and seeing if it clears up of its own accord.

Tomorrow I go to Plymouth for a couple of days. I’ve been so looking forward to that, it’s been planned for months. A week ago it looked like I wasn’t going to make it. The Doctor has given me the go ahead as long as I walk as little as possible. 

So I’m so relieved. Those gel insoles in my walking boots and the anti-inflammatory gel have made all the difference to me getting back on my feet. I’ll be well dosed up with painkillers, soothing gel and anti-inflammatory gel.

Tomorrow evening I will be at the ‘Snooker Legends Tour’ in Plymouth. I will see the professional game of snooker played live by some legends of the game – Jimmy White, Cliff Thorburn, John Virgo, Dennis Taylor, John Parrott – names I’ve only ever watched before on the TV. It’s going to be quite a night!! I’m so looking forward to it and so glad I’ll be able to make it!!


Eve said...

I hope you have a great time! I know that the foot pain is awful. I have had it planter fascitius. Mine went away. Thank God!

Princess Fi said...

Hi Eve, thanks, I had a wonderful time and will be writing a blog post about it. Happy to be resting my foot for a couple of days now. I also have tendonitis in my Achilles tendon which is a bit of a double whammy!!