I am a survivor of extremely severe ritualistic childhood abuse and sadistic systematic torture. This blog has helped me get my voice back and documents the journey I'm on to heal from the trauma and damage caused by that appalling abuse. Now is the time for me to tell of MY experience by speaking the truth about MY life. I will be silenced no more! On this blog I share MY life, MY healing journey; helpful quotes/stuff I come across and MY thoughts along the way. The more I speak out the more liberated I am from the shame and trauma of the abuse. My broken wings are gradually being repaired. Without God in my life I wouldn't still be here. But somehow, I keep on staying alive, surviving and rarely, occasionally, living a little!

Sunday, 13 May 2012


On Wednesday 16 May I'm heading up north to the Lake District and my home town for a little holiday to catch up with people and places which are very special to me. I've written about the coming trip on my blog "From a Chrysalis to Beautiful Butterfly." Here is a short excerpt from it.

This coming week I’m heading back North for the first time in five years. It was July 2007 when I was last in the Lake District. During that trip I went to Keswick for the Keswick Convention and had a lovely week. It is even longer, ten years, since I was in my home town, as it was August 2002 I last went there. I’ve stayed away for my own safety. But I feel that I’ve stayed away too long and now I’m ready to go back for a short visit. Plus my friends have been saying to me for a while “when are you coming to see us?” So it’s a long overdue trip.

The Criminal Injuries Compensation I received is paying for this trip. Although the compensation was not awarded to me for positive reasons but because of the trauma and abuse in my childhood I have worked hard to use it as a positive force in my life. I’m done this through paying off virtually all my debt and through treating myself to things I’ve always wanted to experience but have never had the money to do. 

That includes holidays, and this trip north is the first one.
It’s going to be quite a trip. So there’s lots of stuff to look forward to and to feel excited about as well as some aspects to feel a little anxious about too. It’s going to be exciting and relaxing in parts. It will also be possibly challenging and emotional in other parts. But overall I’m sure I’m going to have a great time and it’s going to turn out far better than I could hope for. I just need to be very gentle with myself, pace myself and look after myself and all my child parts.

The whole post can be read at 

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