I am a survivor of extremely severe ritualistic childhood abuse and sadistic systematic torture. This blog has helped me get my voice back and documents the journey I'm on to heal from the trauma and damage caused by that appalling abuse. Now is the time for me to tell of MY experience by speaking the truth about MY life. I will be silenced no more! On this blog I share MY life, MY healing journey; helpful quotes/stuff I come across and MY thoughts along the way. The more I speak out the more liberated I am from the shame and trauma of the abuse. My broken wings are gradually being repaired. Without God in my life I wouldn't still be here. But somehow, I keep on staying alive, surviving and rarely, occasionally, living a little!

Saturday, 17 November 2012


For various reasons I will not now be going ahead with the pottery group. 

When I agreed to give the group a go my gut intuition was putting the brakes on and telling me it wasn't right for me. I tried to ignore my gut intuition but on being reminded that my gut intuition can always be relied upon I decided to pay attention to what it was telling me and try to figure out why.

While I was in the process of figuring that out my Rethink worker left her post. Rethink currently have a staffing crisis in Exmouth and only have one male worker there now. As there was no female worker available for me I am now without support from Rethink. 

However, had that not happened I would still have not gone ahead with the group. 

While I was trying to work out why I was getting the message not to do the group I remembered when I was having massage on alternate Tuesday mornings and then having counselling in the afternoon. I remembered that it wore me out and I was glad I was only having to do that alternate weeks. Thinking about the pottery group being in a morning every week I realised that I just is not physically possible for me to do that.

The counselling is much more important to me than a pottery group would have been.  So it made sense to ditch the pottery group and prioritise my counselling. Having made that decision my counselling sessions have had to be moved to my counsellor's private practice in Exeter because of difficulties getting room bookings at Quiet Mind. As that involves a train journey and extra time with the travelling I realised all the more that the decision not to go ahead with the pottery group was the right one.

So all those things combined to show it just was not the right time for me to do the group. Once I'd taken the decision not to go ahead with the group my gut intuition relaxed and no longer sent out the warning signs it had been sending out to me! Good old gut intuition!!

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