I am a survivor of extremely severe ritualistic childhood abuse and sadistic systematic torture. This blog has helped me get my voice back and documents the journey I'm on to heal from the trauma and damage caused by that appalling abuse. Now is the time for me to tell of MY experience by speaking the truth about MY life. I will be silenced no more! On this blog I share MY life, MY healing journey; helpful quotes/stuff I come across and MY thoughts along the way. The more I speak out the more liberated I am from the shame and trauma of the abuse. My broken wings are gradually being repaired. Without God in my life I wouldn't still be here. But somehow, I keep on staying alive, surviving and rarely, occasionally, living a little!

Friday, 31 January 2014


I had a very enjoyable Christmas in a surprisingly mild Austria. I got plenty of snow in the mountains to make up for the lack of it at valley level!

The holiday was very gentle and a mix of the familiar and the new which worked raelly well and helped me with the emotional stresses of that time of year.

Most of my travelling companions were really sociable, friendly and unobtrusive in conversation and I could see changes in how I communicate with people I don't know.  I was aware of increased confidence in my decision making around communicating and dealing with social situations.

I had a fab time enjoying the Christmas markets in Salzburg and coping well with the busy crowds around me. When in the mountains the weather was perfectly sunny giving breathtaking views which gave me wonderful opportunities for photography.

All in all it went very well and I noted changes in how I coped with social and other situations which cause me stress. I realised how much more accepting I am of myself and how I process events around me and could see much progress.

Returning home from the holiday felt very different to how it has in the past. It made a huge difference to me to know that I would be seeing my counsellor on New Year's Eve.  It made a massive difference to me and so I was more relaxed. Having that appointment enabled me to be able to work on some of the difficulties I have negotiating the period between Christmas and New Year.

The counselling appointment helped me reflect on my progress and what I would like to happen in my life during the coming year.

All that enabled me to negotiate that tough time of year more easily than in the past and I feel encouraged by that!