I am a survivor of extremely severe ritualistic childhood abuse and sadistic systematic torture. This blog has helped me get my voice back and documents the journey I'm on to heal from the trauma and damage caused by that appalling abuse. Now is the time for me to tell of MY experience by speaking the truth about MY life. I will be silenced no more! On this blog I share MY life, MY healing journey; helpful quotes/stuff I come across and MY thoughts along the way. The more I speak out the more liberated I am from the shame and trauma of the abuse. My broken wings are gradually being repaired. Without God in my life I wouldn't still be here. But somehow, I keep on staying alive, surviving and rarely, occasionally, living a little!

Monday, 8 June 2015


When I think of where my life has been and how I have been in life, it is incredible to take stock of where I'm at.

Ok so I am nowhere near how I would like to be, nor is my life anywhere near where I would really love it to be, but I would never have ever thought it possible for me to be where I am, for me to be how I am [some of the time] and not in my wildest dreams could I have imagined being the person I am today [some of the time].

So though I so often get bogged down in the "all that is not and has not been stuff" it is all extremely amazing that I am here today being the Fi I am.

It may not look pretty, and it may not be what other people may think or believe should be how I should live my life or what my life should be about, but it is my life and I am so damn determined that whatever time I have ahead of me is better than that which is behind me, most of which I know will never ever leave me, but I am slowly building a life which is a vast improvement on what has gone before

That is something I never ever would have believed possible!!!!