Following up on my post in Dec 16 I've now completed the specialist childhood sexual abuse therapy group. It ran from early January to the end of March.
It was the most incredible experience of my life and I feel extremely privileged to have done it.
Beyond that, at the moment, I don't have words for what the group experience was like.
I found the ending extremely difficult. That is a huge understatement! What did help me through was hearing the other women, including the group facilitators, having mixed feelings around the group ending and not wanting it to end. So I finally that something to challenge the internal critical voice about “not being able to cope, and I should be able to do better” blah blah. Actually, no, there is something about endings and grief that really knock me sideways.
Because it was such an unbelievably positive experience the void left by the ending felt almost too much to bear and remains very painful, one month later. The first couple of weeks I was totally broadsided by the loss and spent a lot of time “hiding under the duvet” as my mental health support worker puts it. I had my 1-month review with the group facilitators this week which was really helpful and it was good to have a consensus as to what next.