I am a survivor of extremely severe ritualistic childhood abuse and sadistic systematic torture. This blog has helped me get my voice back and documents the journey I'm on to heal from the trauma and damage caused by that appalling abuse. Now is the time for me to tell of MY experience by speaking the truth about MY life. I will be silenced no more! On this blog I share MY life, MY healing journey; helpful quotes/stuff I come across and MY thoughts along the way. The more I speak out the more liberated I am from the shame and trauma of the abuse. My broken wings are gradually being repaired. Without God in my life I wouldn't still be here. But somehow, I keep on staying alive, surviving and rarely, occasionally, living a little!

Sunday, 30 April 2017

THE SAGE GROUP THERAPY

Following up on my post in Dec 16 I've now completed the specialist childhood sexual abuse therapy group. It ran from early January to the end of March.

It was the most incredible experience of my life and I feel extremely privileged to have done it.

Beyond that, at the moment, I don't have words for what the group experience was like.

I found the ending extremely difficult. That is a huge understatement! What did help me through was hearing the other women, including the group facilitators, having mixed feelings around the group ending and not wanting it to end. So I finally that something to challenge the internal critical voice about “not being able to cope, and I should be able to do better” blah blah. Actually, no, there is something about endings and grief that really knock me sideways.

Because it was such an unbelievably positive experience the void left by the ending felt almost too much to bear and remains very painful, one month later. The first couple of weeks I was totally broadsided by the loss and spent a lot of time “hiding under the duvet” as my mental health support worker puts it. I had my 1-month review with the group facilitators this week which was really helpful and it was good to have a consensus as to what next.

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